I realize we Floridians will not gain a bit of sympathy from y’all UPN. But dang it! It’s cold! And this is Florida.
Right now, sitting in my office while writing this, the outside air temperature is 39 degrees F. I know many of you from UPN are beginning to laugh your butts off. Yesterday morning one of the anchors on the morning news broadcasting out of New York mentioned the temperature in Tampa would be 68 degrees F. “It’s warm enough go to the beach!”
I looked at my wife and she looked at me with a look of incredulity. “Doesn’t that woman know there is not a Floridian in their right mind who would go to the beach on a day so cold?” she asked.
“She’s from UPN,” I tell my wife. “She has no clue.”
Just so you know, real Floridians hardly ever go to the beach in the spring, summer, and fall – and By Golly, we never ever go to the beach when the temperature slides below 76 degrees F.
Right about now, I know one of my blogging buddies who lives in Minnesota is rolling her eyes to the back of her head. Stop it! We can’t help it if the cold shrivels us, pretty well rendering us incapable of functioning.
I read her blog last week about the snow. She had photos of cows standing in the snow. When I saw these cows, I immediately thought of our last trip to California. Driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, my wife marveled at the cows who were enjoying the life of Riley living on prime oceanfront pastures. I believe these cows were very much like Florida cows; they were probably very intolerant of any frigid conditions accompanying wind chill factors of less than 70 degrees F.
I once believed cows were very intelligent creatures. After all, I had never seen any other animal skydiving with the precision evidenced any Saturday or Sunday in football stadiums across the nation. It was on TV! I saw those “Eat More Chik’n” cows with my own eyes! My only question, as I watched them drift down to precise landings in the stadium, was how they were able to pull their ripcords without opposable thumbs?
Well, so much about flying cows. Now I have to go out and put sheets on my shrubbery – which means one layer less for us. The National Weather Service says we’re in for record lows. This, in our case tonight, is 31 degrees.
I am a little irritated by that. But not half as irritated as I will be next week when the projected low is 22 degrees.
For crying outloud! This is Florida!
© 2010 J. Clark